Publitrad Forum

[Skybax]

very funny

[pythia]

Un tata avea doi copii, unul pesimist si unul optimist. In fiecare zi cel optimist era zglobiu, cel pesimist era tot timpul plouat. De Craciun tatal s-a hotarat sa il faca fericit pe pesimist si nefericit pe optimist. Asa ca i-a luat pesimistului o tona de jucarii si optimistului o gramada de balegar. Pesimistul cand a vazut jucariile a inceput sa se planga ca acum toti copiii la scoala or sa il invidieze, ca nu o sa aiba timp sa se joace cu toate etc, si optimistul fugea razand din camera in camera. Tatal il intreaba: - De ce razi ba, ca ai primit o gramada de balegar?! - Da, da' trebuie sa fie si poneiul pe aici pe undeva!

O baba viseaza intr-o noapte ca Dumnezeu vorbeste cu ea si ii promite ca o sa mai traiasca 35 de ani, pentru ca a fost credincioasa... A doua zi baba la o clinica de chirurgie estetica cere: lifting, liposuction, silicoane, vopsea blonda, etc... Ce mai, dupa doua zile cu banii de inmormantare era ca Pamela Anderson! Iese din clinica si o calca un autobuz. La poarta Raiului intreaba: - Doamne, daca mi-ai mai promis 35 de ani, de ce m-ai omorat?
- @"#"!%?!!! Nu te-am mai recunoscut!

Un hot a evadat, iar locotenentul supar ii intreaba pe politisti : - Cum a putut iesi, daca iesirile erau pazite ? La care un politist : - Poate a iesit pe o intrare ...

Examen de fizica la politie. Subiectul: Fenomenul ionizarii. La sfarsitul examenului il intreaba unul din politisti pe colegul lui de banca din timpul examenului: - Ma tu ai stiut? - Perfect!- raspunde acesta. - Sa-ti dea D-zeu sanatate zice primul, inseamna ca am stiut si eu, pentru ca am copiat cuvant cu cuvant de la tine. Enervat si ingrijorat politistul care stiuse ii spune celuilalt: - Idiotule, cum ai putut face una ca asta, acum o sa ne prinda si o sa ne pice pe amandoi!! - Fii serios, ii raspunde cel care copiase, n-o sa se prinda nimeni pentru ca am mai si schimbat si eu pe ici pe colo. De exemplu unde tu ai pus ION, eu am pus GHEORGHE!

Un azil de batrani inchiriaza un autocar pentru o excursie. La putin timp de la plecare, soferul simte o bataie usoara pe umar si o bunicuta il intreaba daca vrea niste alune. Soferul accepta bucuros pumnul de alune pe care i-l ofera batrana. Dupa vreo 15 minute, batrana vine din nou cu un pumn de alune. Povestea se repeta inca de vreo cateva ori, dupa care soferul, nedumerit, o intreaba cand apare iar langa scaunul lui: - Mamaie, da' de ce nu mancati alunele, ca sunt scumpe, si aveti pensii mici... - Eee, da crezi ca mai avem dinti sa mancam noi alune? - Pai bine, si atunci de ce mai dati banii pe ele daca nu le puteti manca? - Nu maica, noi nu cumparam alune, sugem doar ciocolata din jurul lor...

Gigi Becali e intrebat: - Cainele dv. e de rasa pura? - Pura! - Are si arbore genealogic? - Nu e nevoie, ii foloseste pe aia din curte!

Doua prietene se intalnesc intamplator pe strada, dupa multi ani. Se imbratisaza bucuroase si incep sa se descoasa despre barbatii lor. - Auzi draga, mai bea al tau asa mult? - Nuu...l-am dezvatat. - Cum ai reusit? da-mi si mie reteta. - Pai..am luat o pisica dupa strada, am umplut cada cu vin si am bagat pisica acolo. El cand a ajuns acasa m-a imbratisat ca si-a vazut visul implinit, a intrat in cada a baut tot vinul si cand a gasit pisica....a lesinat. De atunci nu mai bea decat apa. - Draga, iti multumesc. Chiar acum ma duc sa caut si eu o pisica. Gaseste pisica, o duce acasa, toarna vin, il invita in baie. Trec cateva ore bune, si disperata intra peste el sa vada ce se intampla. Barba-su mort de beat statea pe marginea cazii si storcea pisica.. - Hai pisi-pisi... inca un strop.

Trei studenti plictisiti de moarte. La un moment dat unul din ei zice: - Bai io zic sa dam cu banul, si sa facem asa: daca pica marca mergem la terasa, daca pica banul mergem la meci iar daca pica pe muchie ne apucam sa invatam...

[Skybax]

Daca reusesc sa invat si eu macar jumate din limbile pe care le vorbeste nenea tot e bun.
Aveti video aici Este foarte interesant.

[Skybax]

Am gasit aici si aiciniste poze cu locuri nu tocmai bune de amplasat reclamele respective.

[Skybax]

Un mod funny de a scrie unele cuvinte in limba engleza
Gasiti link aici

[Leena]

Chinglish:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ation.html

http://images.google.ro/images?hl=ro&so ... CC8QsAQwBA

[Skybax]

Din gama ideea ca blondele e proaste ... ce greseala

O blonda, intr-un avion, sta langa un avocat. La un moment dat, avocatul ii spune:
- Hai sa jucam un joc : eu iti pun o intrebare si, daca nu stii raspunsul, iti dau 5 dolari, apoi imi pui si tu o intrebare si, daca nu stiu, eu iti dau 50 de dolari.

- De acord, zice blonda, iar avocatul o intreaba:
- Care e distanta de la pamant la luna? Blonda nu stie si ii da cei 5 dolari.

Vine si randul blondei sa intrebe:
-Ce urca muntele in 3 picioare si il coboara in 4 picioare?

Sta avocatul, se gandeste, isi stoarce creierii, dar nimic. Ii da blondei cei 50 de dolari. Cand sa coboare din avion, o intreaba totusi:
-Hei, care era raspunsul la intrebarea ta?

Si blonda ii da 5 dolari...

[Skybax]

Studiu PISA despre invatamantul romanesc….


Anul 1960-Invatamantul obligatoriu de 4 ani
Problema:

* un taran vinde un sac de cartofi cu 50 de lei
* costurile de productie se ridica la 40 lei
* calculeaza profitul

Anul 1970- Invatamantul obligatoriu de 7 ani

* un taran vinde un sac de cartofi cu 50 lei
* costurile de productie se ridica la 4 cincimi din pretul de vanzare
* la cat se ridica profitul taranului?
* se interzice utilizarea abacului!

Anul 1990-Invatamantul obligatoriu de 10 ani

* un economist agrar vinde o cantitate de solanum tuberosum subteran cu o suma de bani B. B are marimea 50. Din elementele B-b, rezulta ca b=0. Multimea costurilor de productie P are o marime cu 10 elemente mai mica decat multimea B.
* reprezentati multimea P ca multime-parte a multimii B si hasurati multimea rezultata R, potrivit urmatoarei intrebari: cat de mare e profitul?
* se interzice utilizarea minicalculatorului.

Anul 1995- Invatamantul liber Waldorf

* Deseneaza un sac de cartofi si canta in acest timp un cantecel.

Anul 2006- Invatamantul incluziv

* un taran vinde un sac de cartofi cu 50 RON
* costurile de productie se ridica la 40 RON.
* profitul se ridica la 10 RON.
* Sa se sublinieze cuvantul cartofi si sa se discute despre el intre colegii din medii culturale diferite.
* Se interzice utilizarea armelor.

Anul 2010

* un inginer agronom vinde un sac de gardofi cu 25 euro. Gosdurile sund de 5 euro. Profidul este de 20 euro.
* selegdeaza dermenul de gardof si maileaza solutia in formad pdf la clasa 2a@scoala.euroba.

Onul 2015

* sori, nu mai egzisda gardofi!
* doar vrenci vraiz la mec donelts!
* draiasga brogrezul!

[bertescucristina]

Un site f haios cu greseli facute in limba engleza.
http://www.innocentenglish.com/

[Skybax]

There’s the story about the computer designed to translate between Russian and English. The English phrase “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” was submitted and then the Russian translation of that was re-submitted for conversion back to English. The result: “The wine is good but the meat is rotten.”
In the early days of computing, in the 80’s, a London university tried to develop a program that was so sophisticated it could translate several thousand colloquial phrases. At the official press conference a reporter entered the English phrase “Out of sight, out of mind”. The resultant Russian was translated back to English: “Invisible idiot”.


FUNNY TRANSLATIONS INTO ENGLISH

1. In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

2. In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

3. In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

4. In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

5. In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

6. In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

7. In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

8. In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

9. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.

10. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

11. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

12. On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

13. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

14. In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

15. Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

16. In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

17. From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

18. In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

19. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

20. In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

21. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

22. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

23. In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream. (kein Eis?)

24. In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

25. In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

26. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

27. On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

28. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

29. In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

30. In the office of a Rome doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

31. In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

32. In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

33. In a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

34. In a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

35. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

36. On a Malaga freeway:
Locals for sale or rent. (thanks to O.B.)

37. In a hotel in Bruges:
Bathroom light operates with motion sensor. Turns off approx. 15 minutes after last registered motion. (thanks to O.P.)

38. On a Bulgarian web site:
You may visit this webpage, only if you are logged in or it is unavailable. (thanks to A.M.)

39. In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

40. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.

41. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.

Sursa